How to Stay Open and Curious in Hard Conversations (Getpocket.com)

In “How to Stay Open and Curious in Hard Conversations,” Mónica Guzmán draws from philosopher David Smith’s insight that humility begins with accepting: “I’m wrong, I just don’t know about what.” This mindset encourages us to value truth over rigid beliefs and to loosen our grip on certainties.

Here are some concrete tips on navigating tough conversations and staying in learning mode:

• Share snapshot opinions – Offer your views as provisional thoughts – « Here’s where my head is at right now… »
• Change the question. Instead of asking “Whose perspective wins?” ask, “What makes each perspective understandable?” – a move that redirects conversation away from competition toward empathy and learning
• Listen longer. Listening longer is one of the toughest things to do in a bridging conversation. When you’re really itching to offer a comment on someone’s opinion, make yourself ask one more question first.
• Acknowledge agreement. When you’re in conversation with someone who disagrees with you, finding something you agree on is like building a basecamp partway up a mountain: You can climb higher faster.
• Acknowledge good points. This adds that measure of humility, helps balance the conversation with respect, and builds endurance to probe deeper where opposing perspectives meet.